Today the kids are out of school and of course I had to work. I asked Matt to go pick up our beef in California and told him that the lady we were splitting it with would be by to pick up her portion after she got finished with her school day.

I called at 4:15 to make sure that he had gotten my text about Ella’s soccer practice tonight. He said that he did not go get the beef. I reminded him that the lady we were splitting it with was coming by to pick up her half. His reply was “oh well I don’t have it”.

Not for a moment does he think about others and the affect his actions have on other people. I asked him if he thought about her plan to come by and get it and he said he guessed not.

I worked until 6:30 and then picked up Ella from soccer practice. I stopped by Taco Bell to get some tacos because I was sure that the kids hadn’t eaten yet. Got home and sure enough they hadn’t. Matt said he was taking a shower, which he did, and then was tucked in bed by 7:30 watching a movie. Each time I went in the bedroom I heard cursing coming from the TV. I asked him what kind of filth he was watching. He said it was a Tom Cruise action movie. I asked, “is it filling your mind with good stuff about how to become a better dad or a better husband or a man of integrity? I doubt it.”

I let my anger get the best of me. Part of my anger is that he is lying in bed with no regard to help get the kids ready for bed.

Construction has been going on for seven months now. Still no floors, still no kitchen. The other part is that I simply cannot continue to live in this mess and still try to have some sense of normalcy when it is complete chaos. It is just not possible.


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