Today was a long day of me begging him to stop talking…telling him I wasn’t engaging in the conversation…then being brought to tears. All. Day. Long.
Finally some relief when we had to go our separate ways – me to a dinner for my sister while he went to the church chili supper. That in itself created problems as I was ‘creating division’ by going someplace else.
On the way home from our evening away, my 5-year-of said:
“If daddy tries to make you cry, just don’t say anything. Walk away. Don’t cause any problems. Ok?”
Wow. What in the world am I putting these kids through? What kinds of life lessons are they learning?
Don’t cause any trouble.
I can’t get this statement out of my head.
Does she think that standing up to someone or speaking out for yourself is wrong? Does she think that it’s ok to live under tyranny?
Some tough decisions are going to have to be made. My heart aches. My soul is battered. My spirit crushed. While I can’t see my countenance, I can feel the sadness, worry and fear on my own face. God did not design me to live in impression.